CSI Redux:

The Accused is Entitled

The Accused is Entitled

October 3, 2002

            Relationship?

            As soon as Phillip Gerard had left his office Grissom’s mind turned to the conversation that had occurred in the layout room. His mentor’s easy smiles and seemingly harmless questions all leading to the point that had pricked Grissom sharply, nearly throwing him off his game and under the wheels of Marjorie Westcott’s defensive mechanizations. He would never know with certainty whether that had been Gerard’s goal or if the man had simply wanted to use Sara’s relationship with the EMT as a way to muddy the waters with the jury.

            “I know, I wish she’d mentioned her relationship with the EMT who moved the bra.”

            The words buzzed around his head like a persistent fly that simply wouldn’t go away. He already knew the medical technician in question; he had sparked Grissom’s curiosity a week earlier while on a case at the Rio. A passing conversation with Warrick, nothing Grissom would have bothered to note had the young man not asked about Sara. At the mention of her name, Grissom had given the EMT a second glance but had not thought much about it at the time.

            Grissom exited his office his path leading him past the layout room where Sara was collecting swatches of the bloody sheet. She had used some female magic and a pencil to hold her hair back as she concentrated on the task before her. He had to admire her, watching her through the gleaming, tempered glass, her was focus so razor sharp that she was unaware of his presence only a few feet away.

            Relationship. Grissom sighed, turning his mind to the bullet train paced case, ignoring the dull ache that had settled in his chest as he walked away from Sara.

            The familiar sensation that Grissom was near tingled at the base of her skull causing Sara to look up from the bloody sheet she was working on. Her dark eyes scanned the hall outside the room but only found an Assistant Technician pushing a trolley full of test tubes. The echo his presence lingered and Sara sighed as she returned to her work, trying desperately not to notice the heaviness that had settled into her heart.

December 31, 1997

            “I think we should take a step back.” Sara heard Grissom say the words struggling to get through the sound of her slowly dying heart. “Step back,” she repeated numbly.

            Grissom picked up his glass of scotch from the decorative concrete railing overlooking the immaculate kept grounds of the San Sebastian Golf Club, music drifting through the open French doors leading to the veranda reminding him of the revelers within the ballroom. “Yes, step back,” he answered, bolstering his courage with a large swallow of his drink. “We…you,” Grissom sighed heavily unable to get the words past his lips.

            Full realization washed over Sara, her eyes momentarily widening at the totality of the euphemistic words. “Yeah,” she said softly, nodding her head quickly to keep the tears from spilling. “Yeah, you know, everything happened so fast.”

            Lies! Her broken heart screamed, Lies! Don’t listen to her!

            Grissom gave a small nod before downing the remainder of his drink and placing the glass on the railing. Stepping forward he gently grasped Sara’s upper arms. “Be happy,” he whispered, leaning in to place a soft, fleeting kiss to her cheek.

            Unable to meet his gaze for fear of falling apart, Sara nodded as she fought the urge to grab him and hold on. It was what she had half-heartedly convinced herself was for the best, for Gil’s best interest, but that didn’t stop the pain in her chest from sucking the breath from her lungs nor the nausea that threatened to over take her as his lingering touch slowly faded away from her.

            It took every ounce of her strength not to collapse on the country club veranda, her fingers gripping the railing in a death grip. Silent tears streamed down her anguished face but Sara didn’t dare look behind her, knowing she would run after Gil and confess that she would never truly be happy with out him

            Be happy? Sara huffed, a sardonic sneer coming to her tear stained face. Not likely.

October 5, 2002

            “Sara?”

            Sara turned to look back at Grissom. He can see that she is slightly preoccupied with her upcoming court appearance. Trying to find something to say that will make her feel better his mind trips across the only other thing that it had been working on besides the Haviland case.

            “Whatever happens in court, it’s not because you are seeing this guy.” Grissom hides his surprise at his own words, not sure what he was trying to convey or why he had said that.

            Sara blinks, appearing almost angry at him, saying nothing.

            “You deserve to have a life,” Grissom continued, trying to sound supportive as he turned back to his work.

            Sara turned towards the door, hesitated turned back towards Grissom, her mouth opening and closing before she left, saying nothing but having plenty to say.

            Grissom felt her leave and turned, watching as her long strides quickly took her away from him. A life? Yes, he wanted her to have a life but he had never considered the possibility of Sara having a life with another. It was as alien to him as the idea of ever marrying again or loving another woman other than Sara, it just…Happy, maybe he can make her happy. The thought was as earnest as it was painful and Grissom resolved to double his efforts at keeping Sara at a distance. It’s for the best, he tried to remind himself before returning his focus to the case at hand.